life_sentences

told you how i felt and you told me how you did to...
and that absolutly made me really happy...
manage to spend more and more time with you which is what i always wanted...
things happened more than i expected it to be
and you turn out to be ok with it which was suprising 
never actualy expect you to like me back but guess i have a way to your heart...
now i feel like i'm in a dream that i never want to wake up from...
but the thought of you leaving so soon just brings tears to my eyes...
i don't want you to go and i know you don't want either...
i guess we just have to make the best of the time we have left together...
i don't know how you do it but you just make me feel so different...
everytime you appear infront of me you never fail to put a smile on my face...
it was an interesting confession we had with each other last night
and i'm glad i don't have to hide my feelings anymore... haha...
SA LANG HAE JAGI...

just had my mid sem break and now i'm back in school... sian!!!
haha... practically wasted my holiday doing absolutely nothing!!!
haha thats some "productive" week i must say!!! haha...
manage to catch up on heaps of sleep which is pretty good i guess... haha...
have been telling myself that i have to start on my studying but guess what?
nothing has been done!!! how good am i?
shit man... ever since uni start... i have been is this la la mode and its really bad...
the only time i have the mood to study and do work is when assignments are due...
this is bad i know... my goal for now... START STUDYING JOANNA GOH!!! haha...
just ended my stats lecture... have no serious clue what wayne was talking about...
all i can hear was "cri cir cir cri"(crikets calling) haha...
got tute at 4 later which means nothing till then!!!
such a waste of time i tell you...
just gonna go home and sleep then come back ta school for tute...
shit shit shit... so screwed... just found out that week 1 to week 4's online quiz are gone!!!
and they all adds up to like 5% of my final grade... argh!!!
fucking regret not doing it every week... now i better do well in week 5, 6 and 7's quiz...
aiight its serious studying for me and less playing... kill me somebody... haha...
ok ima go home and have a nap now... later pple!!!

XOXO

emotional thoughts passing by my head every min every hour is just killing me...
just can't seem to be able to control my feelings even though its been so long...
its just this weakness that i have all the time that i can't get rid of...
i need some support i need some love or someone that i can just hold on to...
i often question myself about what i'm doing but i myself don't even know...
having to put up a facade every single day is simply a torture...
if only you truely knew how i feel and how much i need you then my heart will probably be at ease...
somehow i don't expect anything from you...
just your care, concern and understanding will probably do just right for me...
or maybe i just need you... 
everytime i think about you...
its like having an emotional warfare in myself and i can't seen to just put it all aside...
i know its time to give up...
its time to put everything aside 
understanding that things will never go back to how it use to be anymore...
and i guess thats what i'm gonna try to do...
i can't let another tear drop fall for you anymore... 
i gotta stay strong like people think i am...
and move on like any other broken hearted have done...
memories will always be kept  as a secret in my heart...
and i'll still love you hoping someday you'd say you do too...

hate the fact that i still love you...

the friday is here again... 
but for the pass 2 days it felt really gloomy and moodless...
the thought of 3 assignments due next week is just  bleah...
went over ta brissy last sat then mei came over ta sunshine coast on sun till thurs...
its was really fun spending time together... haha...
did heaps of walking ard and went to places that me myself haven't gone before... haha...
lets just say that i'm really sua gu... haha...
think i'm gonna stop drinking for awhile... haha...
got so drunk on wed that i nearly died!!! haha... think it was the absine that got me really fucked up...
i'm like stuck in school now thanks to the rain... argh!!! 
gotta go home and watch some lecture replays again so that i can do my assignments...
think my weekend is gonna be like studying studying and more studying...
god bless me man... haha...
aiight i shall do a head start fir my assignment now... later yall...
 

hey yall... the week has started for me again...
man... school is starting to become really boring for me and i'm starting to hate school alrdy...
hmmm moving into Varsity (school accomodation) tmr...
donnoe how am i gonna transport things over man... i have like heaps of stuff... haha...
at least i got pple helping me so it ain't that bad... hoho...
psych essay plan due on thurs and i haven't even started cause yknow why?
i have no idea what to do!!! tried to start on it last sat but i totally spaced out!!!
haha... met grace at SCI110 lecture just now and decided that we should meet up to go through about the essay plan... i've got a saviour!!! haha... love it when theres help!!! haha...
easter is coming which means a longer holiday for me!!! haha...
but apparently the other universities are having like holidays from the 22nd all the way to the 30th!!!
what the fuck? i don't have!!! only have like holidays from the 21st to the  24th!!! irritating!!!
oh wells... i'll prolly have my study break like after week 6 or something... have no idea... haha...
donnoe if i should go home now or stay in school a lil longer for god knows what reason... haha...
aiight i shall go home and pack a lil of my barang barang so that tmr i can just take my stuff and move out...
man i'm so gonna miss robyn so much... she is like the coolest landlord ever man...
haha... will miss her heaps!!! hehe...
aiight ima go home now and be a pig so later yall... haha...

hey yall... slacking in school now cause it was pissing down heaps of rain and i can't go home... haha...
got sci110 tutorial at 4 which means i got like another 4 hours to waste... i absolutly hate monday i tell you...
waste time doing nothing but waiting for the next class... BORING!!! haha...
my weekend was pretty interesting... haha... i shall save the details to all my besties... haha...
man its week 3 of school and work is started to become harder and harder... argh!!!
esp stats!!! i have no cluce what the fuck the teacher is talking about... 
all i hear is the crickets going "cri cri cri cri" haha!!! lame i know but its true!!! haha...
man i need to start my full on studying if not my work will pile heaps man... haha...
aiight theres nothing much i wanna talk about alrdy... 
i shall head back home and have a lil beauty nap before coming back ta school for tutorial...
later peeps...

hey hey... finally blogging again... haha...
2nd week of school started again and i'm starting to dread school...god!!!
had a great weekend... headed to brisbane on friday to meet mei and stayed there till sunday...
haha... friday was relaxing for me... met mei at about 4  plus at toowong then went ta meet amy
then headed back to their place ta chill for abit... haha...
went out at about 10 plus and we had no idea where to go so we ended up in treasury casino
and guess what... we lost 125... haha... but at least i had fun... haha...
saturday me and mei went to the SEXPO!!! haha... 
missed it in melb so i had to catch this here if not it'll be a miss out for me man... haha...
oh oh oh mei pierced her belly there!!! how cool is that... haha...
that girl is so funny i tell you... walked ard the city as though she was pregnant...
haha... you guys should have seen how she ran for the train man... haha... purely retarded!!! haha...
sunday was shopping for me... haha... didn't buy much stuff but it was satisfying... haha...
aiight... my weekend didn't sound fun but the company was just all i needed... haha...
hmmm nothing much i wanna talk about for now so i think i should just head in for an early night...
2 lectures tmr... kill me... haha... ok ok... ima end here... later yall...

hey yall!!! haha finally decided to blog out my life in sunshine coast...
haha its a pretty nice and quiet place here... haha...
school started for me yesterday and i attended my first lecture of my life... haha...
pretty interesting cause there were like at least 100 pple in one lecture theater...
haha felt like a sua ku though... haha...
yesterday class started at 8 and guess what?! i happily woke up at 8.30!!! haha tell me i'm good...
oh oh bought a secondhand bike so i don't have to walk 15mins everyday... haha tell me i'm lazy...
so yesterday... woke up late... rode the fastest on the bike in my life and got to lecture at like 9
when lecture ended at 10... haha i'm good alright... haha... 
after that... went home and decided ta watch desperate housewife till 3.30 before going back ta school
for tutorial at 4 and guess what?! no tutorials this week!!! i felt like a dodo brain going to school for nothing
and not daring to take my nap... argh!!! haha...

just had psychology lecture this moring... god!!! all the terminology and shit!!!
i have no idea what the lecturer was talking about... haha... god help me!!! haha...
waiting for my next lecture ta start which is at 12... BORING!!! haha...
know whats the horrible thing? i have no friends!!! ok maybe only 1 but ya!!!
how sad is that you tell me... friendless for jo for awhile i guess... haha...

oh oh last sunday i did an impulsive move by going ta pierce my lips...
haha i have no idea why i did that so suddenly but i always wanted it for like half a year now...
so i guess my wish came true... haha... it wasn't as painfull as i expected so it was all good... haha...
within a week i went down ta brissy twice and the journey is a killer i tell you... 
15mins bus ride then its a 1hr 30mins train ride... thats a pretty long journey i must say... haha...
but brissy is so much more fun then sunshine coast!!! more life and more shops!!!
feels like i'm staying in a kampong!!! haha...
aiight aiight enough of blogging... i'm too lazy to write anything else... haha... see ya pple!!!
will try to update as much as i can... haha...

to all the pple in melb!!! think of me when you guys do shits ok...
i really miss you pple so much... how i wish you guys were here with me...
i seriously need the company... haha... love you guys!!!
i'll try to come back in march so that we can all hang out and stuff ok!!! haha loves!!!

to pple in sg... i just wish my holiday didn't end so we can just play and play and play...
haha if only eh? haha... miss you guys loads... SERIOUSLY!!! haha...
aiight later yall!!! xoxo...

haha officially finish camp for the time being... haha...
have been doing camp since last tues... freaking shag i tell you...
haha.. but it was a hell of an experience man... haha...
did green view sec last weds and it was simply a killer... haha...
lost my voice while teaching the kids how to dragon boat... haha...
then had a day camp for geylang methodist primart school where i nearly collaps man...
didn't get enough sleep and i was so shag... haha...
 went back ta camelot to prepare sunday's camp with court police pple... 
haha it was a pretty interesting camp... with interesting pple(got gay!!!) haha... 
chilled at campsite till monday then it was time for Northlight School...
it was better then i expected even though there were pretty loads of drama... haha...
broke camp on weds then went out for lunch then to mei's house to nap for awhile...
haha rachel is so damn freaking cute i tell you... haha... wanna kidnap her home to play man... haha...
left mei's house after dinner then back ta camp to prepare for thurs...
haha being a dragon boat instructor is pretty fun... haha... 
all the dragon boat instructor and safety instructor were playing in the sea big time man... haha...
called ourself IWI which meant idiot water instructor... haha...
was in the water from 8 in the morning to 5 pm and now all of us are freaking burnt... haha...
aiight anyways i shall end here... have nothing much to say alrdy... haha...
gonna go wild wild wet with the synergy boys and dynamics girls... haha... 
hope it'll be one interesting day man... haha... aiight.. later yall...

oh my god!!! i'm finally blogging like after so long... haha...
lets just say i'm too busy and lazy ta go online ta blog... haha...
went to the sin seh today to get my back fixed... haha... 
but i thing it became worst... haha...
can't even move about properly... look like a retard i tell you... haha... 
and plus it hurts so badly i tell you...
doing too much accupuncture(donnoe how to spell) in a day ain't fun man... haha...

anyways... just did a SJC adventure last week... haha it was pretty fun but super tiring i tell you...
had to go ta pasir ris on tues ta help set up the camp site then weds came the real camp...
haha didn't sleep on tues night cause major snoring session was going on... haha kill me...
then weds had to do night duty so only manage to sleep for like 2hrs... 
haha poor mei had to sleep on 3 chairs cause when she tried ta wake 
those sleeping on the safari bed up... all we did was open our eyes... 
looked at her and went back ta sleep... haha... thats what she said though...
can't remember anything... haha... SORRY GRUMPY!!! haha..
had like super major ugly tan and cause all the instructors were wearing wet booties the whole day... our legs look super white and decomposed!!! tell me thats disgusting... haha...
last day was like a joy to all instructors man... haha... the moment all the sjc girls left.. 
we were like so fucking happy... haha...
maybe it wouldn't be that bad if the girls were abit more cooperative... haha...
oh oh oh!!! one thing that i just remembered!!! 
am so fucking glad thati had that sports class please!!!
at least most of the girls in my group are pretty rah rah... haha... 
but i pity mei and sue man... haha...
mei had the performing arts class and sue had the uniform group girls so more girls who were kinda quiet...
the last night of the camp was awesome man... camp fire was one that we can't forget... haha...
instructors being retarded... girls became more hyped up... everybody just bonded perfectly... haha...
after the girls went ta sleep... it was our turn man... haha the moment me, mei and ras lie on the bed...
we knocked out cold man... haha... was the best sleep for the whole camp... haha...
aiight enough about the camp and enough blogging for the day... haha... i shall go sleep now... 
feeling really tired the whole day and i have no idea why... haha... aiight later yall!!!

i miss you... i really do... but i can't let you know how i truely feel cause it always seem silly to you...
spending time with you make me feel so comfortable that i wish time slows down just for us...
i have no idea what i should do now cause just seeing you or hearing your voice makes me smile for the rest of the day...
i just hope you know that i'm always here for you with arms right open and whenever you get hurt...
i'll hold you in my arms so that you will feel better again...

hey yall... mtv.com is under maintenance so decided to blog... haha...
haven't blog since god knows when man... haha...
waiting to watch tila tequila on mtv... god!!! that show is so fucking good i tell you... haha...
anyways!!! i got a new jeans today!!! haha... the brand is called True Religon... haha 
thanks uncle steven!!! haha...aiight enough of daily life stuff...

things have turned the other way round lately...
emotions has been pretty fucked up too...
things turned out differently then i expected and it seem to be getting worst...
the closer i try to get to you... the further our hearts seperate...
i donnoe what i should do anymore... or maybe i should not do anything...
but its hurts to seen things become like this...
he said take it slow and take my time.. but how slow does he want me to go?
just hope things won't be worst then it already feels like...
if only you knew how i truely feel about you...
and get treated the same way and i treat you...
miss how we use to be when we're together
miss everything that we use to do
overall... i just miss you...
even though i'm you...
it feels like i'm hanging out with a whole new person...
i donnoe what to do but i guess the only thing  i can say is i miss you and i love you...

Tear Drops on my Guitar

 Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cuz It's so damn funny*****
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The Only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

I GOT MY ONITSUKA SHOES!!! HAHA!!!
this is so exciting!!! haha... thanks bobby!!!
oh and thanks for the mooks singlet!!! haha... even though its kinda small... haha...
met stefan for lunch at parkway today then bobby picked me up to go to town ta meet luke and jo...
haha... was shopping ard but didn't see anything i like... haha...
jo and luke left so bobby and i continue to walk ard... haha...
saw this pretty nice bikini that i wanna get... donnoe if i should... haha...
i donnoe what to wear to zouk out how? stupid jolene mok is all prepared alrdy... na bei!!! haha...
aiight... ima go sleep now... gotta wake up at 7!!! kill me!!!

days... hours... mins... seconds...
just counting down days... i'm only like back here for like about a week 
and it feels l've been here for a month!!! goodness... haha...
i think i'm starting to fall in love with melbourne alrdy... haha...
anyways... watched enchanted today with mei... 
haha it was a pretty romantic and funny movie but it seems suitable for bimbos and airhead (meishi) to watch... haha...
but overall it was aiight... haha... 
oh oh something really funny happen yesterday...
manage to borrow a car last night so went ta gardens for supper with stefan abd sarah...
haha the funny part was... stefan had a car... sarah had a car and stefan had a car so 3 cars altogether...
met mei there with her friends and she had her car too... 
after supper stefan sarah and i didn't wanna go home so we were thinking of places to go... 
then mei came along cause she didn't wanna go home too... so 4 cars!!! haha...
but then mei had to drop the car home so all of us drove to her place then it was down to 3 cars and we went to yishun dam to watch cars...
haha tell me how cool is that??!!?? many many cars!!! haha...
next time everybody should have a car each then we can all drive on the freeway together!!! haha...
i think i hae issues... haha... suffering from retardetizm... haha... aiight chao...

chipmunks are simply adorable, cute, cuddly and most of all missable!!! haha... loves...

hey oscar... if you see this... cheer up ok... if you're grumpy just let me know ok... i'll gladly be your pinching machine... hehe...

hey yall hey yall hey yall... haha...
went out today with mabel for awhile the met stefan... 
omg!!! i finally got the newurban male singlet that i've been wanting since god knows when... haha...
so exciting please!!! haha... oh oh oh and i bought the fossil wallet too.. haha... 
now stefan and i have 'couple wallet' bahahahahaha!!! love you stefan...
oh bought a white and a electric blue skinnies 2 days ago and guess how much was it?
it was freaking 19 bucks each please!!! damn cheap!!! haha think i'm going back to buy more colours... haha!!!
bought a red bull singlet and also my adidas spray... stupid custon threw mine away cause it was 150ml... IDIOTS!!!
hmmm can't wait to wear all this new stuff out... haha!!!...

it has been raining for like the pass few days and i'm just waiting for the right time to go tanning...
i seriously need to tan i tell you... more and more pple are starting to call me white chicken and its really bad... haha...
so would the sun please come out really soon... haha...

missing you pretty badly right now... didn't expect it to be like this... haha...
told myself to tahan but i don't think its working very well... man... kill me... haha...
i'm just waiting and hoping that time goes by really quickly right now... like ZOOOM kind... haha...
i think i'm retarded... haha... this happens when i'm sleepy but still don't wanna sleep... haha...
ok i shall go play with my DS now... haha later yall...

I WANNA GO BUBBLES!!!

blardy hell!!! i'm bubbles deprive...
stupid jo, bee and the rest are at bubbles having fun and what am i doing?
sitting at my com playing trance to myself...
think i'm gonna end up bringing my shoes into my and start shuffling to myself... haha!!!
what a weekend man...
oh anyways... i'm back home!!! haha...
was suppose to come back next monday but daddy wants me back earlier so i can celebrate his bday with him... haha...
oh man... the weather is simply just a killer man!!!
i can like practically melt outdoors!!! haha...
but at least there ain't flies ard here... haha,.,,
in aussie... like every 5 steps you take... a freaking fly lands on you...
and thats seriously irritating,,, haha...

met bev and walked ard for awhile then met andrea and lynn...
went to shop ard with lynn after that then my all so fave neh neh came to meet us... haha...
chilled at starbucks.. like finally... till like 7 plus then had to go home for dinner....
fuck sia... saw a really nice vest but i donnoe if i should buy it of not... but its white though...
hmmm... maybe i'll go like bugis street and see if there is any other nicer stuff there... haha...
god i miss that place...
oh oh oh!!! i got to eat chicken rice today and i tell you!!! it taste SO GOOD!!! haha...
i think i'm singapore food deprive... haha...
aiight i shall end here and go back to trancing myself... haha...

missing you pple at bubbles!!!

3 papers down... 2 more to go...
donnoe if i can make it through but i hope i can...
lets just say i've fucked up my exams?
i donnoe whats wrong with me man...
just can't study at all!!! maybe i'm just not the study type?
maybe if i study things hands on the i'll do better...
i have no idea what to do anymore...

fought with the bitch today...
isit my fucking fault that i need someone to talk to?
isit my fault that i feel what you have done to my family is wrong?
look bitch... even though my mom ain't here but
she still can see you from above aiight...
man... sometimes i wander...
why does she have to leave all of us?
its at times like these that i wish that she never left...
just hope what i have now is just a nightmare...
a nightmare that has been going on for 8 years...
hoping you're there holding me is your arms and telling me that everything is gonna be alright...
leaving us in the hands of this bitch is simply just a horror...
i wander who isit to blame when they all finds out what i have been doing here...
i'm not saying that it is entirely your fault but this is what happen
when you tie a person so tight and not allow any breathing space...
and once that person is finally let loose...
thats when the wildest things happen...
i just can't wait to be 21...
that will be the time when i'm responsible for myself
and nobody have any rights over me...
that will be my freedom, my life and everything that i have ever hoped for...

aiight enough ranting for the day...
i'm just thankfull for all the dears ard me now...
never fail to make me smile... haha...

dreams and fantasy...
i hope all things that are wished for would come true like a fairy tale...

OMG!!! can somebody please kill me right now!!!
i'm like in a constant mode of procrestination
and i have no drive to study at all!!!
worst still... my exams are in exactly a week!!!
looking at all my notes is like looking at a totally new language!!!
i guess i am really gonna end up in monash college...
my hopes and dreams all wash away
by stupid mistakes that i make since the start of the year
which is... NOT STUDYING!!!
why does life have to be this way???
can't we all have the life that we want in our own way???
create our own paths to our own future...
wouldn't be just perfect?
its like 2.32am now and i'm trying to force myself but guess what?
i end up using that com ta blog and play my facebook...
man... all these distractions have gotta go...
its either that or i have to set my mind into studying...
aiight aiight... ima go back to trying to study now...
lets just hope in the next 30mins i wouldn't decide to go and sleep... haha...
this is what happens when you're that sort of person
that need at least 12hrs of sleep each day... haha...
aiight... economics... here i come!!! later...

oh my god!!! exams are like in 1 week!!! 
and i haven't done anything productive at all!!!
tell me i'm screwed!!! from today... its gonna be hardcore studying i tell you!!!
no more tv... no more lazing around...
will it be monash college or the universities for me? i have no idea...
but judging by how i am now... i think its the college that i have to end up in...
oh man... can somebody please just slap the shit out of me and wake me up!!!
i guess there is just too much distractions and too lil motivation...
aiight aiight... in order to stay in melbourne and not lose face...
it study that i have to get through before i can continue playing...

having my break now so taking this chance ta do my laundry... haha... 
have a break till 1.30... i swear sometimes i hate my breaks man... its just too long!!!
haha... playing facebook now... i'm damn bored!!!
so many pple didn't come school today!!!
like half of school went missing or something... haha...
 aiight aiight ima go meet jo and all now... later yall!!!

the week end was i weird one i tell you...
went ta bubbles on sat and that night went by in a total disaster...
meant to go there for the last time before exams and also ta celebrate shirley's bday but it all went down the drain...
man... but after like a few hours later... it was all good...

anyways... had my grad night on monday... haha... lets let that photo do the talking...















aiight photos are up...
i shall go perpare ta go ta school now... haha...
miss my goeg lesson... lets just say i over slept.. haha...
aiight later yall!!!

hey yall!!! haha had some wild weekend i tell you!!!
Godskitchen simply rocks man!!! haha...
that is so my party of the year man!!! haha...
went with jo, bee, bobby, luke, monkey and Kj... then brian, sarah and cole came awhile later...
fuck man... its some night to remember man!!! haha...
aiight pictures are here... and more retarded pictures on facebook....
haha... aiight ima go shower now... later!!!



raving in a fuckin stadium rocks!!!



the lightings was awesome!



JOJO!!!



SMACKED!!!



Bobby & Me!!



bee, luke, brian, jo, monkey, KJ & eugene... where am i?



me, carol(orh la orh la) & bee...



OMG... just look at bobby... haha!!!



me, jo, sarah & cole... goodness me... MY BRA!!!



jo, bobby & luke...

 

BEE!!! fucking smacked please!!! haha...



me and max...